NOT to Say to an Adoptive Family After an Adoption Falls Through
By Karen Ledbetter
"Don't worry. There will be another child to adopt." (We don't
want another child, we want THIS child)
"If God had wanted this to happen
"When God is ready
.." (We already know God is in charge;
you don't need to remind us)
"You are probably better off." (Honestly now, would you say
that to grieving parents whose infant just died?)
"He really wasn't your child anyway." (Oh yes, he was, even
if for a short period of time, and even if we never saw him)
"This wasn't the right child, and God has YOUR child in mind somewhere
"It wasn't meant to be."
"Maybe it's for the best
(On Mother's Day or Father's Day) "You don't have a child."
"It's best the child stays with her real parents. That's natural,
"Maybe you're just not supposed to be parents; you're infertile,
"Why would you want someone else's kid anyhow? Just relax, you'll
"It's not like losing your own baby. " (S/he WAS our baby!)
"Can you sue the mother and the adoption agency? You might not get
but at least you'll get some money." (Unless we were taken advantage
of by a scammer, we don't want money, we want our baby!)
© Karen Ledbetter 2001 - Many thanks to my Cybermom friends who
contributed their thoughts to this list.
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