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Adopting On Your Own

The Complete Guide to Adopting as a Single Parent

By Lee Varon

Adopting on Your Own Lee Varon
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Review by Allison Martin

If you are single and are considering adopting, Adopting On Your Own by Lee Varon, is a wonderful starting point for your journey. This book provides a well organized and methodical approach to the process and consequences of adopting as a single parent.

Adopting On Your Own is divided into two components - 1) the emotional decision and consequences of adoption and 2) the process of adoption. A number of good books are available to guide you through your adoption, and here you will find a valid and helpful introduction to the various types of adoption, procedures and issues involved in the process. But where Adopting On Your Own really shines is as experienced guide to the emotional and personal aspects of adoption and single parenting. Lee Varon is an experienced therapist and an online advocate for adoption, as well as a single adoptive parent. As befits a therapist, she takes you through the decision to adopt by providing the pro's and con's of single parent adoption, with plenty of opportunities to work out your personal feelings and consider your own situation in this process. Through her interesting and professional discussions of adoption and parenting, she raises crucial issues and questions that every single parent should contemplate. Most adoption agencies do not provide adequate preparation to parents for this crucial responsibility. Lee Varon's book is exemplary in filling this void by tackling the key issues of adoptive parenting in an enlightening and graceful manner. Vignettes and quotes from adoptive single parents enliven the book with real life examples.

As an added bonus, Adopting On Your Own provides an appendix with a comprehensive list of resources for adoption and single parenting, including Internet mailing lists, special needs organizations and singles support groups.

I recommend Adopting On Your Own to singles considering adoption. Be sure to keep this book on hand to read again as your child grows. You will find the discussions and advice useful for many years.

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Example quote from Adopting On Your Own

"The determination of whether a single parent is a good match for a child should be based on that particular child's history and needs as well as the single parent's ability to meet these needs and to create a network of support for their new family.

"The evidence that most adopted children do well in single-parent homes doesn't mean that these children might not sometimes feel sad about the lack of another parent. Nor does it mean that children in one-parent homes don't need role models of both sexes with whom to interact. But this evidence does dispel the myth that children need two parents to thrive..."

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