Questions to Ask a Potential Birth Mother

by Karen Ledbetter

You've completed your home study, mailed out adoption resumes, passed out adoption business cards, and maybe even advertised in newspapers. You had a special "baby telephone line" installed. When you're least expecting it, that special number rings. Your heart pounds. You take a deep breath, then answer. You're talking to a woman who is making an adoption plan for the baby she's carrying. What questions do you ask?

Below is a list of questions I compiled during the months of research and reading I did before successfully adopting our child. Perhaps this list will help you, too.

1. How are you feeling?
2. Have you seen a doctor?
3. When is the baby due?
4. Where do you live?
5. Do you work? Go to school?
6. How old are you? How old is the baby's father?
7. Does your family know about this pregnancy and your adoption plans?
8. What do they think about adoption?
9. Is your mother emotionally supporting this plan?
10. Have you talked to other couples?
11. Are you married?
12. Does the baby's father know about the pregnancy?
13. What are his feelings?
14. Is this your first pregnancy?
15. Why are you considering adoption?
16. Would you like to call our agency/attorney?
17. Do you want to think about this and call me back tomorrow? Do you want me to call you back sometime?
18. Do you mind sharing your phone number?

Copyright Karen Ledbetter

Real Moms is a newsletter by and for adoptive mothers. Support, information, encouragement, and networking for domestic adoption are offered to adoptive and prospective adoptive mothers.